When you plunk your ticket money down for a Crowded Kitchen Players production, you never know where you're going to end up. Think of the box office as more of a travel agent. Your destination is wherever the imagination of Ara Barlieb and his talented cast dare to take you.
They pull no punches, take no prisoners, and never play it safe.
And those accustomed to seeing The Crowded Kitchen Players know that nothing is ever as it seems, and that the journey will not be a linear one.
In CKP-land, the road is always less traveled, the storytelling is always innovative, and "X" never marks the spot of where you think you are going to end up.
And that is the beauty of CKP productions. You cannot get complacent or comfortable with what you are seeing even if you think you are sure of the paces you are being put through. 
This is the case with "Pints, Pounds, & Pilgrims", which may seem like an ordinary "show within a show" story.
Ah, but don't forget, you are a temporary resident of CKP-land where originality and chutzpah reign supreme, and Barlieb has taken that concept and turned it on its ear with hilarious results. He has concocted a tale so rich with characters, comedy, and charisma that to partake of it seems almost decadent.
Barlieb is a masterful storyteller, and the jokes are fast and furious delivered from his unflinching pen through the conduit of this wonderfully talented cast.
We are thrown headlong into our trip at a public house on an island off the coast of Ireland where a group of actors are rehearsing a play that is to be performed at the local theatre festival under the direction of Simon Wexler, played by Brian McDermott.
McDermott's portrayal is an achievement that should be long remembered. He inhabits the role, oozing the kind of menace and penchant for evil most commonly associated with those playing sociopaths or serial killers.
He is unhinged and unapologetic, a bastard's bastard, who flings insults at his well intentioned thespians, one more cruel than the last, and you will love him for it.
It is impossible to take your eyes off of him as he slings verbal arrows with penache. He is a vision of vitriole in a commanding performance.
The target of most of his attacks are his cast consisting of Bridgette (Sarah Thomas), Sean (Brian Wendt), and Claire (Pamela Wallace.)
Thomas hits every mark in stride with grace and perfect comic timing, all the while deflecting the malevolent barbs, defending her cast-mates, and balancing romantic aspirations. Her performance is as inspired as it is abundantly enjoyable to watch as she continues to prove that she is one of the finest actresses in the Lehigh Valley.
Wendt's turn as Sean illicits a cacophony of laughs nearly every time he speaks. This is the second time I have had the pleasure of seeing Mr. Wendt deliver the goods, and hopefully not the last.
Wallace holds it all together as the voice of reason for the threesome as they navigate through this tough terrain with excellence.
They also provide a very moving dramatic turn at the beginning of Act Two. Their chemistry is palpable, highlighted by Wendt's vulnerabilty and Thomas' desperation. It is as tender as it is gut-wrenching and is a striking moment in an otherwise non-stop farce.
Also in attendance at the rehearsal are the citizens of Inishbofin, making up the theatre committee, played by Susan Burnett, Paula Klein, James Probst, Alexandra Racines, Patti Squire, and Michael Thew. They are led by Michael O'Shea, whose righteousness is expertly played by Dan Ferry.
He is the antithesis of Simon Wexler, well-mannered and conscientious, and not afraid to stand up to the tyrant director in the name of what is decent and good for his town's interests.
Ferry's brogue is gratifying as he plunges into the complexities of dealing with Simon and the flirtations of Bridgette. Ferry nails it on all counts.
Scott VanNortwick and Steven Rosenblum make up the crew of Wexler's production team, both finding ways to cope with their bully's transgressions.
The other destination on our trip is Hoboken, New Jersey at a send up of the "Tony and Tina's Wedding" type of dinner theatre.
David "Oz" Oswald plays the tormented Benjamin Foolscap, a director who is a shell of his former self, haunted by the ramifications of an unfortunate event so cataclysmic that it has plagued the rest of his professional existence.
Oswalt makes you feel his pain and regret, especially during the recounting of that harrowing day that changed his life. Oswald is the modern master of the monologue, and while he gets laughs in the tale, the subtle inflections of heartbreak and longing weave a mesmerizing tapestry of emotion. He locks eyes with the audience. He makes it personal. He makes it real. He is spellbinding, and I found myself frozen in his steely gaze.
The trio he is directing take his frustration and turn it into jubilation. Foolscap's wife (Burnett), "The Husband" (Squire), and Rodney (Thew) mine their scenes for every scrap of humor, and they hit paydirt every time.
Burnett is frantic and lilting, and as her exasperation grows, so do the laughs. Her physicality only enhances what she brings to the table, as she adroitly executes every bit. One might wonder if her surname is a coincidence or if she shares the DNA of another Burnett, Carol, of whom she is reminiscent.
And if that wasn't enough we are treated to Squire's "The Husband."
The use of accents in this show is prevalent and put to good use, and no one epitomizes that more than Patti Squire. She spans the globe in her performance, and takes on the role of a transgender southerner from New Jersey playing a Prussian turned Scottish soldier like no one has before.
Ok, maybe no one ever has before, but no one could do this like Squire. Her Prussian accent is a combination of the Swedish Chef from "The Muppets" crossed with Sergeant Schultz from "Hogan's Heroes."
She kills in her role, extracting belly laughs with every phrase and facial expression.
I dare say that Burnett and Squire are two of the funniest women, not only on the Lehigh Valley stage, but anywhere around.
Not to be outdone, Michael Thew's, Rodney, clad in only a towel and shower cap treats us to some of the funniest (and worst) singing I have heard. Thew's sinewy body will not only please the ladies, but his capability to keep up with these two skillfull comediennes is downright admirable.
Putting the "dinner" in dinner theatre are VanNortwick and Wallace as Antonio and Maria; who always enter armed with thick Italian accents and firey personas. VanNortwick, donning a Super Mario Brothers-style mustache, and Wallace hit the bullseye with their roles, adding another tasty layer of laughs to the already delicious recipe.
Add in a dash of Rosenblum as the box office worker, Probst as the tailor, and Klein as the stage manager, and you've got a four-star meal with a fine dessert still to come.
The climax of the show plays out unforgettably as both troupes encounter each other, resulting in a denouement so uproarious that it was hard to hear the dialogue from the actors at times. It is a whirlwind of an ending that in the hands of a lesser director and cast might fall short. It is a full group effort, a well-oiled machine that brings this show to its highest heights in this knee-slapping conclusion.
Even the set pieces, painted by the sublime local artist, Nora Oswald, are put to use, almost becoming another character in this show-stopping ending.
So join these "Pilgrims" on their journey. Stop by the travel agent at the Charles Brown Ice House in Bethlehem, PA on February 12th and 13th at 8 pm and the 14th at 2 pm with another departure the next weeknd at the Unicorn Theatre, February 19th and 20th at 8 pm, and the 21st at 2 pm.
It's a no-holds-barred trip to CKP-land with stops in Ireland and Hoboken. Ara Barlieb and his wonderful players are your guides.
Side sticker from laughing included.