When lights fade up on record store clerk Toni Simmons' efficiency apartment, she's in the clutches of death, the jets of her gas range turned on, her windows tightly shut and heavily curtained.
A nosy neighbor, creepily named Igor, bursts in, cools her jets, and resuscitates her, lip-to-lip. Her first reaction upon finding herself returned to the arms of the living is to interpret this not as a rescue but as a seduction.
Her second reaction is to kiss back.
My first reaction was, This is a weird way to kick off a screwball comedy.
My second reaction was, No, not really.
A fair number of enduring comedies, some of which even predate this nearly fifty-year old classic called 'Cactus Flower', have used attempted suicides to bolster friendships and spark the flames of romance --- Twentieth Century, The Apartment, Sunset Boulevard, Better Off Dead, The Full Monty.
I tell you all this because, if you have a tendency to retreat in the face of the preposterous, I have a word of advice for you: Don't!
You'll be denying yourself a good two hours and twenty minutes of mindless humor and spontaneous laughs if you do.
After Toni's rescue, we quickly learn that she is suffering through a one-sided relationship with a sexually rapacious dentist, Julian, who avoids entanglements with his innumerable conquests by falsely claiming to be married, with children.
As theater fate would have it, however, it is right about this time that Julian experiences a change of heart and decides to marry Toni. But, Toni won't consider such a thing until she meets his non-existent wife.
Julian seeks counsel and support from his prickly dental nurse/receptionist, Stephanie, and manipulates her not only into posing as his spouse, but also into trying to convince Toni that marrying Julian would be fine and dandy with her.
Forget it if you want me to provide further synopsis. I can't do the plot twists justice. Trust me, they're ridiculous; but, they work.
Yes, 'Cactus Flower' is dated. Worse still, it's familiar. Sitcoms have been reworking its plot for decades.
And it's always been inconsequential, perhaps even more today than when it premiered in 1969, the year Richard Nixon was inaugurated President, the Stonewall Riots launched the gay rights movement, and Vietnam buckled America's knees.
'Cactus Flower' scarcely hints at any of the social upheaval of its time, beyond some lame reference to pot smoking.
But, though Nixon is an historical disgrace and long gone, though gay rights have advanced dramatically, though Vietnam is now a tourist destination, and though pot's decriminalized most everywhere and even legal in several states, 'Cactus Flower' is still two hours and twenty minutes long. And it's still funny.
And it continues to blossom because of little out-of-the-way, hard-to-find playhouses and theater companies like Dutch Country Players in Telford, PA.
The matinee performance I attended lured about 80 people into the seats. They laughed at the attempted suicide scene and pretty much everything that followed.
And they weren't all blue-hairs and bald-domes like me sitting out there. The college-age folks directly in front of me were gabbing knowingly about theater--- something I've come not to expect of their generation. And they heartily enjoyed themselves throughout the afternoon.
The first act was tentative and leisurely. Effective comedy usually has an urgent, NASCAR pace. This was more like shuffleboard.
After intermission, however, someone waved the green flag, and the show shifted into high gear.
The performance level was generally just what this play calls for. Everyone was highly likable, hit their marks, jumped on their cues.
Oh, there were times you could read the program between set-ups and punch lines, but the audience never stopped laughing at them. What else matters'
I initially thought Kat Valleley's Stephanie seemed as stiff as her starched nurses cap in the early scenes, but I was wrong.
By show's end, I was completely enthralled with everything she said and even more so by how she moved. Kat's a good name for her; she slinks across the stage, and she's fluid in motion when she dances. Her facial expressions are under control, her voice modulates beautifully, and she knows how to wear an evening gown.
Tiffany Seitzer's Toni and Drew Seitzer's Igor had effective chemistry with one another, which makes sense, considering they're married.
John Weber's Julian was solid, and Scott Grande's turn as an incorrigible rake was the most consistently humorous.
Letitia Grande and Christopher McBreen were sturdy as a demanding dental patient and a thwarted Latin lover, respectively.
Set design by Emma Strowger and lighting design by Joe Gallagher were convincing and effective.
My only criticism of the show, and a source of some wonder, is that the first two scenes of the play--- in Toni's apartment and Julian's dental office, two of the three most important sets--- were played at considerable distance upstage, creating a gulf between the audience and the performers that I don't think was ever quite bridged, while a relatively minor set in a record shop was rolled into place far nearer the footlights.
But that's a mere quibble.
Cactus Flower is like a bottle of Geritol, an over-the counter medicinal product that was popular when this play originally appeared: It may not cure what ails you, but you'll feel a little better just for taking a dose of it.
'Cactus Flower' plays through April 5, 2015. For ticket information, please call (215) 234-0966 or visit www.dcptheatre.com